fireproof, moulding, Hip Hop dance

watched the Movie Fireproof in church last friday.. really good show.. laugh and cry a lot .. lots of values too..

not too pushy, and very realistic the way the guy was so against the message initially.. "how do you keep loving someone who keeps rejecting you?" the main character meant it in reference to his wife but the msg towards Jesus is so ept to..

"never leave your partner, esp in a Fire" true both as a fireman, and in a relationship..

sigh.. this makes 4th sunday in a row i'm crying super hard in a service... in fact today i bawled so hard pastor bee had to come and ask me wat's wrong.. talked about it. .. and prayed about.. helped to set my mind straight .. still a moulding time from God.

With God, He will help me tru.. every tough time is a time to know God more and differently and the sun will shine brighter after..

On a different note, took up hip hop dance.. first lesson today.. super fun, and warm up the same i did in tkd, never felt so fun b4 hahhahha

Recovering Mode

Recently in a super bland mood. I'm not longer feeling as moody or angry.. though i'm still angrier than an average person.. actually till now i dunt know why the bouts of depression come about. i mean there are issues in life but i dont' think they warrant a full blown breakdown like i had recently..

I'm still trying to get back my walk back on track with God, not going as well as it shoudl be, but i'm coming back. Asking God to show me and do a revamp and cleandown of my spritiual life and my heart.. Think there's a lot to clear..

Had a lot of thoughts reading both John bevere's bait of saitan and Under cover.. God has been prompting me now and then..

Meanwhile hope my friends can tahan with me more while i recover

moving on

think i can stop being angry le.. no point, not worth it. just gotta open my eyes bigger when i make friends next time..

but i think God has other issues to deal with me.. He really has a list of them i think, He has been nudging me abit here and there.. but i'm not sure i'm ready to ask Him or listen to what He has to say..

Although a misunderstanding was cleared.. but i'm not doing emotionally well still.. that was just the final straw.. like the innocent skier's harmless action triggering a huge avalanche waiting to happen and be unleashed..

i still dunno why my down time happen, don't know why i feel so depressed, all i know is this equation always happen on me.. my temper is inversely proportionate to my prayer/walk with God.

Thankful for family who gives me space and understands, thankful for cell mates who understands me, allows me to be human and be who i am without judging me too much.

tired

I've never felt so spiritually tired for a long time, guess i've been holding it in for a long time. I told God i can't seem to pray for long and i can't seem to do much and argument with sis in the morning totally drain me out even though i don't show..

went to service earlier so i can catch some proper time with God. along the way to church i told God, i'm too tired and i've too much negativity and anger within me. the moment i sat down in church in god's presence i started bawling and crying. i've never cried so hard fora long time. i figured the best plc to cry in God's presence is in church cos no one would blink an eye on it.. And no one would bawl so hard unless God's presence is very real.. and i thank God that He is there with me.

On a totally separate note.. had a superb time catching up with Haz, 7 hours flew by in an instant, and hugh jackman is woo hoo! in wolverine..

caught a great acoustic video of keith urban..
http://music.yahoo.com/promo-42778155-54-20090420-autoplay

Eye Problems

Aye, stupid eye keep giving me problem. The bladeless Lasik eye is still too dry and now because the PRK eye is also too dry, the eye lid keep “pulling’ on the surface which is healing or “exfoliating” end up last few days my eye hurts like hell, red and tearing non stop. This morn go see doc again had to put back the contact lens in my left and tear duct in my right.. aw shucks.. irritating manz..

back to work + weddingssss

wah. finally back to work.. been off since 29th.. so many things has happened.. looking forward to retreat inKL in June.. hope my boss dunt kill me..

went furniture shopping with my sis... sec sis getting her flat.. eldest sis getting married.. jade just got proposed, xb just got his flat and dinner date, yvonne attending marriage workshop, ray looking for house , haz kid 1 year old, jsut attended another friend wedding on fri.. wah liew... so many siah damn sian..

anyway had a great time catching up with ash, xuanzai, LF and aaron in silin's wedding.. boy i feel like going aaron's father's vineyard for a walk and see siah.. or enjoying the great busking atmosphere in Fremantle..

take on american Idol 2009

okay, have to admit, the first full episode of American Idol i caught is the top 4 results show yesterday.. didn't have the time to catch every episode on TV, but i caught the past video performances on the official sites

i have to say i like danny's voice, reminds me of bryan adam's.. sexy voice. Like his disco week's of September though.. really grooving and got his own style..His studio version of Dream on is awesome!! Adam's voice is strong for rock but he seems to sing every genre like a rock song.. but his zed song is really strong and flawless though.. and actually, he does every song perfectly and wonderfully and Kris, ooh is most like an idol, smooth voice good looks charisma, engage the audience..Kris blew me away with his rendition Donna Summer's "She Works Hard For The Money." Love it when someone could do a remake of an original well and his charisma and confidence shows off best here... every theme he has done well even in "All she wants to do is dance" and i love it when one can play more than 1 instuments... :)

so my own conclusion... I would love kris to win and i would love to hear danny on radio more.. !

lasik..

it's the start of my lasik week.. pray for me that it'll be successful.. feeling a bit anxious..

so far the first one has been pretty successful.. except that the first machine they wanted to use couldn't fit my eye, so that got to change machine and manner of operations.. which was cheaper anyway.. so far it's recovering well.. my vision seems to be coming back on my right eye..

but doc told me that my left eye (the problematic one) can't work on the normal lasik anymore since my eyes are too tight for the original machine, and complications are higher cos the suction is less likely to stick watever it means.. so i need to do PRK, surface cornea treatment.. in lay man's term. it 'll still give you vision w/o specs and lens but takes longer to heal (about 2 weeks) and it's more painful..

Oh watever, I don't have much of a choice now, do it?

weekend..

wah my Hols is so long it feels like 4eva.. thurs on leave to take driving.. and i have to declare.. I PASS!! yeah!! no more $ flowing out no more chionging for driving lessons hehehe =D then went tampines one with my mum shopping queen.. and i hardly got opportunity to bring her out so good time give her a treat.. think she was v happy that day gave her a treat at Say cheese.. good service pretty good food =) want to spend $ bring her along sure got clothes to buy.. spend 100 at G2K for 2 pants.. and 1 top i've been wanting to get =D come back at night went for drink with ZL since i'm in a good mood..

sat had cell as usual then went tanglin mall to eat. for some of us, loads of memories from that place.. long time never go there le.. but kevin was funny siah.. keep teasing ruby's sandwich is expsv roti john hehe

and for the second sunday in a row i had gone for a music performance.. last sun was ben and his friends at a studio for their jamming.. this sunday was andy's symphony orchestra at esplanade.. think its beautiful.. i know nuts about classical music.. but i still feel i'm taken on a journey.. from a soothing peaceful ride to a panic attack as though i'm being chased after to a sad heart wrenching moment to a dance in the ball room.. it might not be what the piece is about , but that's what i felt.. anyway hope for best as they represent singapore in japan. jia you!