finally... the day that i've been dreading is over.. finish my internal grading last week and my STF grading today..... i dont' think i made any seruios mistakes.. but really i always get so nervour esp with the coash and the judge standing so seriosly there.. usually it's a mental block what i did there.. i'll leave the hall clearly forgetting what i hd just done inside..

Oh well.. hope it's fine better still get a double promotion hehe.. But like what Santos says.. better dont' too have too high an expectations else u fall harder ..

wish i internalise that advice for my work also.... i had put in so much effort for the whole project... end up other managers recognise my efforts more.. and i got an increment that was lower than my expected.. or was my expectations too high.. well oh well like what li hia was saying, considering the fact taht i got complains by other managers before, i already have a higher than average increment is already not bad le.. so ...

But don't know why i feel so bloody negative about my whole envionrment.. suddenly i can't stand sitting in that stupid room and everything that everyone does irks me to the core. There are colleauges or friends who ask me not to think so much be more positive.. but i simply cant find the thoughts to be positive about....

My internal emotional turmoil is playing within me again.. and it's during these days i wonder where all my friends are...No wonder God says it's not the healthy that needs the doc but the sick... Thank God i have him.. without Christ i might have gone seriously in depression or over-anxiety...