ageing

you hit a certain point in your life where you rather stay within the comfort of your room (or two in my case) then be out clubbing.

change

fire

need to occupy my time so I can stop thinking. insecurity and despair growing. lord let your refiners fire burn in me and cleanse this heart of mine, renew my mind and create that steadfast unwavering spirit in me.

alone

I should get used to living without him

fat !

stomach getting so big! sux! went jogging about 4plus km yesterday, went brisk walk 5km today. tom got training. Fri go gym. hopefully can squeeze a gym on Sat. need to get back to pre holiday weight by end July!

nice

its nice to have someone who appreciates your effort:) even if its just verbally :)

can't

I can't even take care of myself properly, how can I take care of others.

amazed

I'm always amazed with drummers who worship at the same time as they play. SImply not easy. Shows skills and the heart to worship God.

restless

feel so restless, like waiting for something to happen, or hoping something will happen. feel tired by 9pm everyday. . slept by 10. or maybe I should make something happen.

feel I don't belong anywhere now. never know what to say to anyone already.

still haven't post my blog on the US trip, which I wrote on the long plane ride back.

ah!

time has finally come, can't believe I actually am finally off!

"only child"

I never thought ill actually get to have the whole room to myself. when I was younger I always say, I share bedroom with my sis, when I'm older ill share with my husband. I forgot about the period when they get married and I'm the only one left.

I can empatise with only child why they either swing from aloof to a wild child. when you are alone too long you either get used to not having anyone or you feel the need to keep going out to socialise since you are the only one anyway.

after 2years of being the only sibling left, think my personality has taken a shift. I think I m no longer the chatty social butterfly who can chat up anyone because I love to, but now I chat up with ppl only if I have to. its no longer that easy To create conversation with friends, even those that you are familiar or close to. I no longer feel the need to do things to feel more secure and confident because I already am. which means the moments which I wanna be crazy and wild has drastically plunged. I rather be left alone and in my most comfortable moments with my family, I ve become more quiet and observing than the one talking. which probably is why I rather take a single room during retreat than share with a stranger.

time will fly just keepin to myself and enjoying the me moment, I'm perfectly fine with having dinner or lunch myself. gone are the days I'm crashing from party to party. meeting new folks and friends. talking and chatting up with all my friends.

or maybe I'm just getting old.

number one

we are but servants of God. we are not here to show how gd or talented or how excellent a leader we are.

God is number 1, he Is in charge. we are not the cell leaders leading way but God is the cell leader

miss

I miss Mr rivas 's heavy bags and conditioning class. . . .

yeah.

savate on Mon. muay Thai on Mon and wed. krav maga on wed. and loads of bags for me to work on. yeah! that's the life I want! to feel the muscle ache. . :p

but I miss jhkim. that friendliness in everyone. where it feels like family and ppl are not so hao lian. .

Baptism and Muay Thai.

ahh.. been slow in posting ! yes i know. this is more of a personal reminder  :p 

finally after 16 years.. yes i know.. i don't seem like it.. but been 16 years since i received Christ. 26Dec1996, christmas weekend. But finally i got baptised.. on 8th April Easter Sunday. WHat a glorious day to be baptised. 

i honestly didn't expect baptism to be such an emotional affair, but oh what a ride it has been! i believe GOd's timing is the best and for me to be able to be baptised now does not come easy but God knows when the best time is.

It's probably both reason and excuse to say my parents don't allow me to be baptised, that's true .. they have been vehemently and adamantly against my water baptism. to them, you are not truly a christian until you are baptised. But i have been for years. But God has done a miraculous work softening her heart over the years..from Anti to someone who actually reminds me to pray when things get desperate.. shame on me :) but yes.. 

But i actuallly signed up last year and supposed to be baptised last Nov (after some urging my Justin frankly) but i don't think she is that open still... but somehow my menses was delayed and it overlap on my baptism week.. and i have wish to be Moses to turn the sea red :p But this time round , not only was my mum okay, but my cell group was there with me , my sisters are both with me and thankfully i didnt have my menses.. but what did happen was immediately the monday after my baptism on sunday, my menses started.. o my! god's timing and his attention to details like that. sorry ppl, keep going on about my menses.. but to know that he can control what's going on my body like that certainly firms up my faith that He definitely has the power to heal the sickness in my body! and i'm holding on to that! for my nose!!

But actually i didn't feel that emotional until the sat before when we had xb's housewarming cum jade 's birthday and mike prayed for me ... and the actual day it self when the pastor prayed for us, i was crying non stop man.. but i was happy i did it :)

___


Signed up a new school :) Took up Muay thai :) My stamina plummeted! couldnt last through half the class! warm up is skipping 10 mins non stop.. can barely survive the warm up lor!! brain freeze half the time.... yeah got motivation to look forward to after work again.. anyway can try krav maga and savate also.. =) enjoy the muscle ache ! ;p