sunday = pampering day

Finally i get doing my pampering and all that...

couldn't stand my long nails... did a full set of aroma manicure & pedicure which the lady did a good scrubbing of my dry foot. hate my nail colour but at least my hands and feet are neat now hehe..

then Sunday .. i bought body scrub, the gloves for body scrub. So i did a body scrub, hair mask, face mask & good workout .. felt good enough for another hectic week.. :)

Other than that, i think i'm slipping into depression..

yellow belt le

Yeah.... Passed my grading... actually unless u screw up big time.. but should pass de bah... umm.. now yellow belt.. no more double promotion though.. oh well.. slow and steady take it as get my foundations right first bah.. :) nontheless finally not white belt anymore... =D

finally... the day that i've been dreading is over.. finish my internal grading last week and my STF grading today..... i dont' think i made any seruios mistakes.. but really i always get so nervour esp with the coash and the judge standing so seriosly there.. usually it's a mental block what i did there.. i'll leave the hall clearly forgetting what i hd just done inside..

Oh well.. hope it's fine better still get a double promotion hehe.. But like what Santos says.. better dont' too have too high an expectations else u fall harder ..

wish i internalise that advice for my work also.... i had put in so much effort for the whole project... end up other managers recognise my efforts more.. and i got an increment that was lower than my expected.. or was my expectations too high.. well oh well like what li hia was saying, considering the fact taht i got complains by other managers before, i already have a higher than average increment is already not bad le.. so ...

But don't know why i feel so bloody negative about my whole envionrment.. suddenly i can't stand sitting in that stupid room and everything that everyone does irks me to the core. There are colleauges or friends who ask me not to think so much be more positive.. but i simply cant find the thoughts to be positive about....

My internal emotional turmoil is playing within me again.. and it's during these days i wonder where all my friends are...No wonder God says it's not the healthy that needs the doc but the sick... Thank God i have him.. without Christ i might have gone seriously in depression or over-anxiety...

Michael jackson!

MJ just released the 25 yrs anniversary of Thriller. And MSN video control room has the 1992 concert in Romania on the website. Supposedly when HBo played it that year, it chalked up the highest ratings ever.

My god! He is so addictive! No wonder they say he is just a talent! He makes singing so easy, so much stage charisma, his dancing is so damn smooth. And his vocals is powerful manz.. he can jump and dance around with out affecting his singing a damn bit.

And no wonder his moonwalk has inspired so many artistes and like a comment left on the MJ website, Imitated but never duplicated. And his concert is really worth watching manz ... I wonder where he is now! Just a waste if he stopped just like that...

Check it out.

http://msninconcert.msn.com/music/MichaelJackson/en-sg/artist.aspx

Grading again

The time of the year has come again.. it's time for Grading :P Getting a bit nervous.. now has more time to practise my chong ji, taegyu & my techniques.. don't know why ppl keep rising up while i keep getting stuck.... aiyo.. still @ yellow tip...

Hope can pass and move on to Yellow belt.. or better still get a double promotion to Green tip hehe.. a bit impossible.. sigh...

But oh well.. i took up for the interest of it, let me build my foundation and try to pick up to be a bit more all rounded =D

Pretty happy i've pretty much got over what has been troubling me. Thank God. This case it's really through HIm Alone i got over and no one else. Thank God He traded my sorrows for His Joy.

freedom from bondage

Freedom from bondage is the best feeling in the world... Thank God for being with me. Whether or not anything come to past or it did not, God has a reason. And I'm grateful He is in control and not me.

Nightmare.

woke up in cold sweat. Dragged back into reality from a world of dreams; a dense cloud of expectation enveloped me. My heart constricted & my limbs froze for the moment. Suddenly i was shaken wide awake. There is almost this air of anticipation that something is going to happen there & then. As wide awake as day time, I was fearful of what might happen. I broke into a string of fervent prayers, praying for safety & protection & that if anything might happen, God will stop it. Prayed that God will help me get back to sleep. Finally, having battled & Struggled for long, against the baisc instinct that sprang from within to be alert & flee, exhausted, I succumbed to exhaustion back into blissful sleep.

Weekend FUn

Finally my weekend is filled.. nowadays mondays to fridays is packed like siao..reach home almost 11 pm every day.. and i havent' even take up driving. .. so by the time i hit Saturday all i wanna do is stay at home and rest..... but beginning to think i nuaing at home too much...

Anyway.. last sat finally got KTV.. aiyo... been thinkng very long le.. me Lf and Tj.. we usually would go for a drink or two.. but figured, let 's change for once ;D go drink tea instead. hehe.. so we went back to tea chapter.. and drank almost 4 hours tea until we tak boleh tahan siah.

after dinner we had the mood to sing K. so pop by party world... not bad.. except now and then my mind isn't concentrating much.. but it was fun.. good to catch up with old friends once again =)

And sunday! the day i was waiting for. The Earth Wind Fire Experince concert! Damn it was good! in Fact, it is the most wonderful concert i ever attended ( considering i didnt' attend a lot:p)

They were excellent.. now only were the vocals, their musicicians fantastic... but it was almost 2 hours non stop of music... no intervals, no commericals, no change of clothes haha... they started with a couple of fast tracks.. can see ppl are enjoying but no one stood up to dance except one crazy girl :) then the continued on with a couple of slow tracks..

I tell you after the slow tracks.. it's not even half way the concert, they went " come on ppl, get up on yr feet" bamm the whole crowd stood up. Probably it's due to the fact that a significant number of the audience are 'ang moh' or probably 80% of the ppl stood because they wanna dance and let loose. But i gurantee there's a % of them that stood because the people in front are blocking them when they stand hehe.. i was unstoppable manz.... i can't imagine not dancing to these fantastic music.. the shout for encore was thunderous.. and i couldnt cheer any louder, nor could anyone else.. throat were sore from shouting.. hands were perpetually in the air.. standing ovation happens quite often also..

sad

it's been a long time since i felt so depressed. .... it's been very long.

哎， 受伤了

哎，在我做这么多运动的当儿，从来还未受过设么伤。 昨天却中标。

If i get hurt while in the midst of doing some glamourous kick i can still proclaim yeah i got hurt while sparring haha... but stupid thing is i sprained while falling down doing an unsucessful flying kick. Bent my toe while landing. dang. it hurt so much i can't even scream.. but i tot it's fine and i went on to the Strengthening and Conditioning class. I thought it'll be pure stretching like the previous class.. Oh no, running jumping hopping practically throughout the class. wat a coincidence.

Anyway, walked around with a limp the whole day. Never failed to be a good conversation starter i guarantee. next time anyone wants to talk to a dream person orif u want to see if someone cares for you, should get their legs bandage and walk around with a limp infront of them and see what reaction you get hehehe...


But my family was nice.. my sis drove me down to the sinseh, my dad followed along to give instructions and mum came to show where the sinseh.. cos of my leg the whole family went along hehehhe.. my eldest sis say wah so honoured leg whoel family go hahhaa..

HOpe it really recovers soon!! I got grading on April 13 n 20 !!!!!!!!

Hottest guy in the news

Okay, hands up to those who know the answer to this question!

" who's the hottest guy in the news recently? WHose press conference garnered more reporters than when Mr tung resign from HK parliament?"

haha! no prizes for that.

Thing is, why does edison need to resign when there's a scandal like that? Not like it's his fault anyway. Yes, it's because of his pictures in the pc and carelessness that it happened. But who's to blame when both the females and him took those pictures willingly in their own privacy?

Does your personal life matters if it doesn't affect yr job performance? Reminds me of the Clinton and a recent US politiican recently.

Personally, as long as the artistes is good at what they do, I don't really care how many explicit photos he took with his gf in their own privacy.

Anyway, i bet to alot of his fans or some females, his sex factor and sexiness just shot up like a rocket after this.

passed by first gradin!

okay , in my anguish and disturbance forgot that i had actually moved on.

But yes! passed my first STF grading and now i'm yellow tip! yeah!! Gotta work hard, next grading in april.. trying to aim for yellow belt wahaha.. !

really don't need think much and my mind don't worry so much when i do my tkd.. it's really a stress and emotions relieving (not to mention can lose weight) activity hehe..

Scrweed it.

Think i screwed it this time round. Spoiled the only form of relationship we have. If a good working relationship is all we have, then i really had burnt the only bridge. No need to even consider anythign else liao.

Seems i never learnt my lesson. Always let my emotions get the better of me...

What would you say?

In the stillness and silence, God spoke.

It was the altar call for Rev Rick Howard's messsage about the judgement seat of God. All of us have to stand before HIm one day. And if he were to ask us to account for our lives, what would you answer? How are we living our lives? everyone when saved is saved by the righteousness of Christ, but do we have anything to tell God about when we see Him @ the throne?

the message really got me thinking what i'm doing with my life? I've accepted as my God & Saviour, but am i living my life like He is my Lord? the words really touched something within my heart as Rev Rick preach.

However, it was @ the altar call when Ps Calvin asked for moment of silence to contemplate & Evaluate our lives before God that it hit me. In the silence without the music and words, God Spoke. If you were to account, what would you say? Suddenly I felt very ashamed, & I've never been so desperate for God's presence and His strength, not even when i first accepted Christ. My tears started gushing like the dam just opened, only God can touch my heart this way. And all i can think about is " it should be all about you Jesus" And i pray that God don't let me forget that moment. It's not the end but it's just the beginning. Am i going to walk out the service hall forgetting what hadjust happened, or it's just the beginning of a change. I just pray that God has mercy in me for my weakness, & that He'll do what He can, renew my mind and strengthen my walk as I strive to be more like Him.

Jesus did not die on the cross, redeem us from our sins, reconcile us, just so we feel happy & that we are going to heaven and that's all bout all. He called us to go into the nations, making disciples, sharing His Word. What am i doing with the life that he had given and blessed me with?

Emptiness only He can Fill

This Chinese New year is no different from other CNY celebrations. It's sill the same routine, same places, same people. There are times when i enjoyed it, enjoyed the fact that our traditions still keepus in contact with our extended family. there are horror stories on relatives from hell. But generally mine are fine, there are nice ones and there are sucky ones. But overall, the idea of keeping in contact, visiting one other, saying words of well wishes to one another, can be pretty heart warming if sincere.

Besides them, i've also played to the max, I went my friend's place and watch movie till late at night on the first day, continued whole night and morning of majong, went chionging the second night, pubbing on the third night but still it doesn't take away that overwhelming feeling of restlessness and enveloping claustrophobic emotions constricting my heart. The moment I'm free and my mind has time to roam, i busied myself with a full 3hour workout to occupy my mind.

But Oh Lord, You know these won't help nor does it soothe anything. I've yet to set my problems at Your feet. You have said You can lead me to greener pastures and take Yr yolk for Yours is lighter. Lord You have said Take heart You have over come the world and Your Joy is my Strength. Lord, You have said Be Strong for You are with me and let the Lord take the throne of my heart . but Lord, forgive me for I've heard but not listened. I listen but i did not obey. I let the things of the world cloud my heart, like the weeds that overwhelm the seeds and cant' grow. Lord at the end of the day, this emptiness of my heart, can only be filled by You. Nothing else can take this place nor soothe this emotions except You. Take me into yr presence Lord.